How to Kick

"my humps" needs better lyrics

Last evening I was dancing around my basement in my underwear to My Humps and I think the lyrics could use a little work. Unlike Fergalicious, which is lyrical genious (i learned to spell tasty and delicious WHILE dancing in just my socks), My Humps missed a really easy rhyme. The crap line is,

What you gon' do wit all that breast?
All that breast inside that shirt?
I'ma make, make, make, make you work.

All that breast inside that shirt? What happened to following the same lyric rhyming thing you did earlier with junk, trunk and drunk? A better line would be,

What you gon' do wit all that breast?
All that breast attached to yo' chest?
I'ma give, give, give, give you cardiac arrest.

Its my opinion that Fergie would have written that in if she had complete control of Black Eyed Peas' lyrics.

little kid rhyme for wee tykes

rat shit, bat shit
dirty little twat
69 assholes tied in a knot.

Idea 3: homemade ghillie suit

Step 1: get naked
Step 2: buy a bunch of wine
Step 3: pour all of the wine into a large bowl or pitcher
Step 4: chug, spill all over yourself and get all sticky
Step 5: find a wooded area, roll around in the foliage until well covered
Step 6: dissapear into nature

idea 2: TPtinni

Step 1: have boys night
Step 2: make boobs by stuffing rolls of toilet paper in your shirts
Step 3: tp-man-boob wet tshirt contest (instead of water use vodka)
Step 4: remove vodka-soaked toilet paper rolls
Step 5: put in blender on 'high', two minutes
Step 6: pour, serve, enjoy

idea 1

Step 1: create worst idea ever blog, step 3: profit.